1- Pinpoint the purpose of the friendship. Choose funny, charming individuals for social outings, vacations and similar activities. Choose loyal, steadfast individuals to be there when things get rough. Gather a variety of friends for these purposes, rather than relying on only one or two to fulfill all your friendship needs.
2- Engage with these friends on their level. Invite social friends to activities like movies, concerts and restaurants. Invite friends with whom you share a deeper connections to events like personal retreats, family gatherings and protest rallies.
3- Give back to these friendships -- do not expect them to be one-sided. Treat your friends to the occasional dinner, movie or outing of their choice. Give them emotional support and feedback when they need or request it. Tell and show your friends how much you appreciate them and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
4- Let go of friendships that are not working -- this will not only allow you to change and grow as a person, but will give you more time to choose and keep friendships that are working out well or have more potential to do so. Likewise, distance yourself from abusive, manipulative or coercive "friends" -- these are not good choices for social companions.
Tips & Warnings
* If it is clear that someone does not wish to be your friend, do not continue attempts to socialize with him. Send a message that you are willing to consider a friendship if he changes his mind, and let him take the next step. In the meantime, set your sights on friendships that are two-sided or reciprocal.
* Do not expect friends to give you emotional support of which they are not capable. For instance, don't expect your flighty friend to go to a relative's funeral; likewise, do not expect a somber friend to appreciate a silly movie.
